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Twinkness (minor Gehenna spoilers)
Feb. 27th, 2004 01:07 amThe folks on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
werewolf_forum heard about this, sort of...
You folks have heard me talk about Nick before (Sean hasn't met him but based off of descriptions has taken to calling him Hambone). Now, whenever this guy sits down and talks about Vampire, he always finds the thinnest excuses possible to talk about his character. Sure, all gamers do that.
Thing is, to hear him tell it, this character is a combat-twinked, 4th-gen Brujah (I think he diablerized himself up that far, at least) who has apparently been around since before Carthage fell and is apparently a blatant rip-off, attidude and appearance-wise of Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel[1]. This character was created for a Dark Ages game and for some reason somebody let him arbitrarily bring him into modern nights just for the few centuries' worth of experience. He has a haven that's apparently completely impenetrable because it's a mile beneath the Earth's crust, connected to an office building filled with his ghouls by a series of several tunnels. And I'd have to ask him about it, but I'm reasonably sure that this character is also a descendant of Oedipus[2]. I'm not making this shit up. If I could think up stuff this funny, I'd have an HBO comedy special by now (I can just see it, a whole hour devoted to gamer humor...).
I tend to avoid him because he's a moron, but on occasion he stumbles onto me when I'm trying to do something and decides to talk to me. This happened today, and at one point we got into a discussion on Gehenna, and how he liked the 'Crucible of God'[3] scenario more than 'Wormwood'[4] because 'Wormwood' involved too much role-play for him. During this discussion, he mentioned a Gehenna chronicle that he was going to run himself (he'd mentioned it to me before). Of course, since he'd like to play as much as he'd like to run Gehenna, he's going to run one of his own characters as an NPC. This much I all knew ahead of time.
Tonight he confirmed my worst fear. The NPC he plans on running? Yup. His 4th-gen combat monstrosity. And he said, right a big smile on his face, that he might start the chronicle before the Withering sets in, so his character (I can't remember his name) can diablerize one of the antediluvians (either Augustus Giovanni or Tremere, he can't decide which) while he's still at full power.
Again, I wish I could think up stuff this funny. He actually told me all this.
I think that he's hoping I'll get involved in this game, but he hasn't outright asked me to play since the first time he mentioned it (when I told him I'd have to get back to him to see if his proposed night would be good for me). But you know what? I show a lot of tolerance for the fucktards of the world. When some other folks go off on a foul-mouthed rant over the slightest inconvenience provided by the ignorant masses[5], I just sit there, shrug, and figure that my screaming to the heavens isn't going to make them smarter.
But if Hambone, after telling me all this, seriously asks me to join in on the game, I'm going to tell him something.
"Dude, as much as I'm sure he's hoping for an enjoying experience, I'm not going to sit in on it. Because it sounds like all you want to do is have an audience there while you sits behind the screen and jerk off with one hand while rolling dice against yourself with the other. If I'm in a game, I don't want to be some guy who just watches the Storyteller run his own combat-twinked character against his own NPC's. That's not what running a game is about. Oh, and you are a twink, by the way. You took a Dark Ages character and just brought him into modern nights games so he could garner a couple centuries' worth of experience without having to fucking earn it. Just so you can outclass everyone else in a game and get off over it. Well, y'know what? If you want to set up your own little showdown between your combat-monster and an Antediluvian, write it as a story for yourself. Go ahead and roll dice for each and every blow if you can't compose a combat scene in your head. Because you don't start an entire chronicle for shit like that. If you think that's what Storytelling a game is for, then you've missed the entire fucking point and I won't be a part of it."
Okay, odds are I won't say it in those exact words, but the meaning will be there.
Man, this post has a lot of footnotes.
[1]-- I'd just like to go on record and state that I love both shows, I'm just pointing out that he's ripping the character off.
[2]-- Yes, that Oedipus. The one with the inbred children. Makes an odd sort of sense.
[3]-- The scenario where the antediluvians wake up and go to war.
[4]-- I admit, I don't know what all happens in this one because I haven't finished reading through all of Gehenna yet, but I'm told it's the most thematically-appropriate for the game as a whole.
[5]-- I'm not referring to anyone in particular, honestly. Well, maybe a bit towards Sean.
werewolf_forum heard about this, sort of...You folks have heard me talk about Nick before (Sean hasn't met him but based off of descriptions has taken to calling him Hambone). Now, whenever this guy sits down and talks about Vampire, he always finds the thinnest excuses possible to talk about his character. Sure, all gamers do that.
Thing is, to hear him tell it, this character is a combat-twinked, 4th-gen Brujah (I think he diablerized himself up that far, at least) who has apparently been around since before Carthage fell and is apparently a blatant rip-off, attidude and appearance-wise of Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel[1]. This character was created for a Dark Ages game and for some reason somebody let him arbitrarily bring him into modern nights just for the few centuries' worth of experience. He has a haven that's apparently completely impenetrable because it's a mile beneath the Earth's crust, connected to an office building filled with his ghouls by a series of several tunnels. And I'd have to ask him about it, but I'm reasonably sure that this character is also a descendant of Oedipus[2]. I'm not making this shit up. If I could think up stuff this funny, I'd have an HBO comedy special by now (I can just see it, a whole hour devoted to gamer humor...).
I tend to avoid him because he's a moron, but on occasion he stumbles onto me when I'm trying to do something and decides to talk to me. This happened today, and at one point we got into a discussion on Gehenna, and how he liked the 'Crucible of God'[3] scenario more than 'Wormwood'[4] because 'Wormwood' involved too much role-play for him. During this discussion, he mentioned a Gehenna chronicle that he was going to run himself (he'd mentioned it to me before). Of course, since he'd like to play as much as he'd like to run Gehenna, he's going to run one of his own characters as an NPC. This much I all knew ahead of time.
Tonight he confirmed my worst fear. The NPC he plans on running? Yup. His 4th-gen combat monstrosity. And he said, right a big smile on his face, that he might start the chronicle before the Withering sets in, so his character (I can't remember his name) can diablerize one of the antediluvians (either Augustus Giovanni or Tremere, he can't decide which) while he's still at full power.
Again, I wish I could think up stuff this funny. He actually told me all this.
I think that he's hoping I'll get involved in this game, but he hasn't outright asked me to play since the first time he mentioned it (when I told him I'd have to get back to him to see if his proposed night would be good for me). But you know what? I show a lot of tolerance for the fucktards of the world. When some other folks go off on a foul-mouthed rant over the slightest inconvenience provided by the ignorant masses[5], I just sit there, shrug, and figure that my screaming to the heavens isn't going to make them smarter.
But if Hambone, after telling me all this, seriously asks me to join in on the game, I'm going to tell him something.
"Dude, as much as I'm sure he's hoping for an enjoying experience, I'm not going to sit in on it. Because it sounds like all you want to do is have an audience there while you sits behind the screen and jerk off with one hand while rolling dice against yourself with the other. If I'm in a game, I don't want to be some guy who just watches the Storyteller run his own combat-twinked character against his own NPC's. That's not what running a game is about. Oh, and you are a twink, by the way. You took a Dark Ages character and just brought him into modern nights games so he could garner a couple centuries' worth of experience without having to fucking earn it. Just so you can outclass everyone else in a game and get off over it. Well, y'know what? If you want to set up your own little showdown between your combat-monster and an Antediluvian, write it as a story for yourself. Go ahead and roll dice for each and every blow if you can't compose a combat scene in your head. Because you don't start an entire chronicle for shit like that. If you think that's what Storytelling a game is for, then you've missed the entire fucking point and I won't be a part of it."
Okay, odds are I won't say it in those exact words, but the meaning will be there.
Man, this post has a lot of footnotes.
[1]-- I'd just like to go on record and state that I love both shows, I'm just pointing out that he's ripping the character off.
[2]-- Yes, that Oedipus. The one with the inbred children. Makes an odd sort of sense.
[3]-- The scenario where the antediluvians wake up and go to war.
[4]-- I admit, I don't know what all happens in this one because I haven't finished reading through all of Gehenna yet, but I'm told it's the most thematically-appropriate for the game as a whole.
[5]-- I'm not referring to anyone in particular, honestly. Well, maybe a bit towards Sean.
