![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Correcting a mistake
Jan. 24th, 2017 11:08 pmSo I feel I have an apology to make. As much as I've been open online about my bisexuality and done what I can to promote LGBT rights, there has been one failing in my advocacy. Though one I've begun steps to correct.
For a variety of reasons, I tend to keep my family compartmentalized from the rest of my life. (The fact that I don't use Facebook helps drastically in this) There's just never really been any overlap in interests or hobbies or anything like that. But this has also meant that I've never been open to my biological family about my bisexuality.
I'm changing this. Tonight, I came out to my father as bi. Which, in the 'big picture' sense of things, doesn't seem that big of a deal to a lot of folks, I'm sure (partially because it's easy to forget that bisexuals have been known to really get it in the neck from straight and gay folk, for a few different reasons), but it's a big step for me. Other family members will hear in the coming days. (Not that I have a particularly large biological family, unless you count those Mormon cousins the rest of us don't talk to)
(In case you're wondering, my dad was cool with it and had sorta guessed a while ago but wanted to respect my boundaries by not pressing the issue. I figured he'd be cool with it, but it was still something else to hear him say it, y'know? And I totally understand and appreciate his not making a big deal about it before I was ready.)
I'm not going to get into every reason why I didn't tell them before, but the TLDR version is I didn't want to tell any of them unless I was ready to tell all of them because telling someone and asking them to keep it secret isn't coming out of the closet; it's dragging someone into the closet with you. And there were some folks I was afraid to tell because I had reason to genuinely fear their likely reaction. And let's just say that I have less to fear about that now.
To be honest, it's been a little while since I've had to seriously worry about that, but many of you know how it gets. Eventually being afraid to do something like this becomes self-sustaining, and you find reasons to push it back, wait for the right moment, and so on and so forth; but perfect moments never come on their own, and momentum takes its toll.
But right now, especially now, visibility matters. Things are going to be rough for LGBT folks in the next few years, and I refuse to hide when that comes. So best to let them know now, before they find out solely as the result of some sort of crackdown.
Anyhow, I wanted to post this because I feel to some degree that I've been 'letting down the side' by not being as open as I could be, and I want to apologize for that. I am very sorry.
Thanks for your time and understanding.
For a variety of reasons, I tend to keep my family compartmentalized from the rest of my life. (The fact that I don't use Facebook helps drastically in this) There's just never really been any overlap in interests or hobbies or anything like that. But this has also meant that I've never been open to my biological family about my bisexuality.
I'm changing this. Tonight, I came out to my father as bi. Which, in the 'big picture' sense of things, doesn't seem that big of a deal to a lot of folks, I'm sure (partially because it's easy to forget that bisexuals have been known to really get it in the neck from straight and gay folk, for a few different reasons), but it's a big step for me. Other family members will hear in the coming days. (Not that I have a particularly large biological family, unless you count those Mormon cousins the rest of us don't talk to)
(In case you're wondering, my dad was cool with it and had sorta guessed a while ago but wanted to respect my boundaries by not pressing the issue. I figured he'd be cool with it, but it was still something else to hear him say it, y'know? And I totally understand and appreciate his not making a big deal about it before I was ready.)
I'm not going to get into every reason why I didn't tell them before, but the TLDR version is I didn't want to tell any of them unless I was ready to tell all of them because telling someone and asking them to keep it secret isn't coming out of the closet; it's dragging someone into the closet with you. And there were some folks I was afraid to tell because I had reason to genuinely fear their likely reaction. And let's just say that I have less to fear about that now.
To be honest, it's been a little while since I've had to seriously worry about that, but many of you know how it gets. Eventually being afraid to do something like this becomes self-sustaining, and you find reasons to push it back, wait for the right moment, and so on and so forth; but perfect moments never come on their own, and momentum takes its toll.
But right now, especially now, visibility matters. Things are going to be rough for LGBT folks in the next few years, and I refuse to hide when that comes. So best to let them know now, before they find out solely as the result of some sort of crackdown.
Anyhow, I wanted to post this because I feel to some degree that I've been 'letting down the side' by not being as open as I could be, and I want to apologize for that. I am very sorry.
Thanks for your time and understanding.
